Liverpool Knocked Out of Champions League as the Legend of Diego Simeone’s Bald Spot Grows

Posted By High Press 10 on March 11, 2020

Jan Oblak is a man. Atletico Madrid handed Liverpool their first defeat at Anfield in almost three years because they had Jan Oblak, and Liverpool had Adrian.

Or maybe more fairly put, Liverpool did not have Alisson. Adrian did his best. Liverpool should’ve handled their business away at Atleti last month.

Whatever the case, Atleti go through to the Champions League quarterfinals on a 4-2 aggregate, defeating the Reds in England 3-2.

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Would Simeone trade in this win for a full head of hair?

MADRID, SPAIN – MARCH 07: Julen Lopetegui, head coach of Sevilla, saludates to Diego Pablo Simeone, head coach of Atletico de Madridduring the Spanish League, La Liga, football match played between Atletico de Madrid and Sevilla FC at Wanda Metropolitano stadium on March 07, 2020 in Madrid, Spain. (Photo by Oscar J. Barroso / AFP7 / Europa Press Sports via Getty Images)

Despite Liverpool being 10x the better time for 95 minutes today, Atleti deserved to go through. And Simeone out-coaching Jurgen Klopp, not something many can say.

However, as Simeone’s male patterned baldness sets in, will this win ring hallow? Would he trade this win in for a full head of hair?

According to the American Hair Loss Association, Simeone’s erratic sideline behavior could–maybe–reading in between the lines here–but attributed to his balding:

Contrary to societal belief, most men who suffer from male pattern baldness are extremely unhappy with their situation and would do anything to change it. Hair loss affects every aspect of the hair loss sufferer’s life. It affects interpersonal relationships as well as the professional lives of those suffering. It is not uncommon for men to change their career paths because of their hair loss.

A change in career paths? Don’t celebrate this one too long, Atleti fans.

Possible treatments for Simeone

All is not lost, Simeone fans!

There are dozens of treatments for hair loss that your mercurial manager could consider. From Rogaine to laser treatment to stress reduction, Simeone doesn’t have to go full on Mr Clean unless he really, really wants to make that switch.

Atleti have skyrocketed to +1000 to win the Champions League.

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High Press 10 covers general global soccer stories and news. He / she finds the quality of soccer in Bend It Like Beckham to be on par with u8 rec.

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